Posts Tagged ‘Wedding advice’
There are so many things that you can do to create a beautiful and upscale wedding without spending a ton of money. I totally believe in making things interesting and pretty – and be unique at the same time.
Let’s take the old standard – tea. Now, I’m not a tea drinker, but many people are. Many couples serve iced tea, lemonade and water at a wedding. It’s fine. It’s a good money saver, and people are generally happy in the summer with something cold to drink. However, it makes me cringe when it’s presented in an uninteresting ways. I hate it when those metal containers are placed on the bar, or big vats of it are placed in the middle of a room. It’s sort of just thrown out there.
Why not make it pretty and inviting for your guests to savor and enjoy? I think a pretty presentation makes everything taste better – kwim? Ice tea in a vat tastes a lot different than iced tea in a frozen glass, topped off with a pretty lemon wedge. It makes the whole room come alive. Just that one detail will set your wedding apart. Plus, just because you do not have the money for a bar, doesn’t mean you have to make a statement about it – telling everyone – I don’t have money for a bar. Are you following what I’m saying?
Put a pretty linen on the table. Maybe something with an overlay to soften the look. Place spices and fruits on the table (cinnamon sticks, lemons) – not only for the look, but for people to enjoy in their tea. Put the tea in pretty glasses, that have been frozen. Or place fruit garnishes on the glasses. Don’t just put a bunch of tea bags out – ask your caterer to steep the tea.
You could even have a steep your own tea station – and have a variety of tea leaves to try. What a wonderful idea for a brunch wedding.
Yeah, it’s going to cost a bit more – and more thought is needed. Yes, I agree it’s easier to throw a bunch of commercial tea bags in a bowl and call it a day – but why? It’s one day that you will remember for the rest of your life.
Even though I am not a tea drinker, you can’t make everyone happy. However I would appreciate a well thought out detail . I would, however, partake in a nice fresh squeezed lemonade – or Voss sparkling water – or maybe a hot chocolate with fresh whipped cream which could elegantly and nicely accompany a fresh iced tea or hot tea station.
A tea bar!
If you don’t like tea, do something else. More important is the point I’m making. Whatever you do, let it be inspired!
Happy planning!
This title is a bit deceptive because it implies that only couple’s on a tight budget consider using iPod’s for their Wedding ceremony and/or reception. Not true. This post applies to couples all across the “budget board”. I have had a rash of clients wanting to use an iPod. Just like anything – an iPod is a great (and cost effective) solution in some cases – but not all.
This post is not to imply that DJ’s are not important. On the contrary – a great DJ is worth his/her weight in gold. Why? Read on and I will tell you.
An iPod works by creating a bunch of playlists. For example, you might have a ceremony playlist, a cocktail hour playlist, a dinner music playlist, etc. You need to appoint someone to change the playlist and turn off/turn on the iPod on cue. These playlists must be set up prior to the wedding day. Since these playlists are set – things cannot be changed according to the mood of the crowd. So, if you are hoping to have a “party” with joyful dancing – an iPod might not be the right choice for your wedding reception.
The job of a DJ is to keep the party going. A good DJ can see trends and determine what music he/she should and should not play to keep your guests out of their seats and onto the dance floor. Oh what a talented DJ can do – even for people that do not normally dance. With an iPod, you will not get the same effect. Even if you ask your guests what they want to hear before the wedding. If guest Z says that they want to hear Van Morrison – doesn’t man that guests A, B, C, D, E, F, and G will find that song inspiring – and get up and dance. Kwim?
I’m a huge fan of live music and having a professional handle things in a professional manner – but if you are looking to save some dough, where may an iPod be useful? The ceremony – although someone will have to “man” it – and as background music for the cocktail hour – or cocktail style reception. If you are planning for a dance-free reception, an iPod would provide great background music – if played quietly. In these circumstances – the ceremony music is set beforehand, anyway – so if you have someone competent to run it, then you are golden. Likewise, at cocktail style reception (or cocktail hour) the music isn’t as important for the progression – and therefore the success- of your party.
You have to really weigh all the positives and negatives. In all situations – a professional and experienced DJ is always the right choice.
Happy planning!
Yesterday I wrote about Jonathan Thorpe, an awesome Freelance Photographer based in VA. When my client’s budget is small, I have to go to my pool of awesome Freelance Photographers – in order for my client to have great photos that will treasure. It really does make sense – and here’s why.
There are some fabulous wedding photographers out there (I have featured a number on this blog). Their work is truly amazing and worth every penny that they charge. However, when a couple has a $5,000.00 budget, and the starting photography packages are $4,500.00 – it doesn’t make sense. After receiving the price shock, couple’s navigate through the pool of inexpensive wedding photographers. In that pool, there is an unusually high percentage of questionable photographers and product (red eye problems, uninteresting shots, bad focus, poor quality in general) – and the price (in my opinion) is high for the quality that you receive. To me, that really doesn’t make sense.
Freelance photographers have a fresh eye, are excited and motivated to do a great job for you – and can give a new and different prospective on things.
You have to be careful in choosing a photographer. It’s not an easy. In fact it takes more work – but in the end, will it be worth it? I’m guessing it will.
You need to look for the right things in their portfolio. Even if he/she is good, you don’t want to spend 2 hours of your reception taking pictures – because that will ruin a day. You need to be clear about what you expect – and you may have to explain weddings to him/her. A detailed timeline is a must so that he/she understands the day and the time allotment they have. Finally, you will need to work with someone who is willing to work under a solid contract (which most likely you will need to create). If they have references, that’s often a great place to start.
Everything needs to be given careful consideration
Did I say – not easy?
Also, there are Freelancers out there who have wedding experience but don’t have the client base. Often, they want to get their name out, and will do weddings for little money.
Just food for thought.
Happy snapping!
Special shanks to Jonathan Thorpe for the moving photograph
Based on phone calls, it seems that many couple’s are under the gross misconception that to save money, one has a home wedding.
Home weddings are an entirely different animal. Just because you do not have to rent a venue, doesn’t mean you will save money having a home wedding. On the contrary, you will most likely spend more.
First, let’s think about what you are renting when you pay the rental fee.
- A structure – a very important part to have a wedding. Not all venues have structures (for instance if you have a tented wedding in a field), but go with me on this.
- A bathroom – a very important component.
- A floor – Helpful but not necessary (will explain later)
- The necessary pieces – table, chairs, silver, glass, Linens. Really depends upon the venue. If you are doing careful comparison, make sure you add these pieces in. They add up.
- Layout – Annoying but true, established venues have seen many different types of weddings and have experience with different layouts, egresses, etc.
- Transportation and parking – You need to get your guests to your home – and have somewhere to park their cars.
Let’s look at some costs. Just as a note, costs depend a lot upon what you choose, so I will do quote some averages.
- A structure – For a home wedding, you need a tent or two, or 3, depending upon what you are doing. Even if you don’t want a tent, you need to put one on reserve. No questions. $4,000.00
- Bathroom – You cannot ask your guests, who are dressed up to the 9’s, to pee in a Honeybucket. Yuck. Sorry guys, but running water is a must. $1,500.00
- A floor – depends on the grading of the yard, and personal feelings. If your yard is flat and not wet, your golden. However…$8,000.00 for carpet and up to $20,000.00 for a hard wood sub floor. $12,000.00
- The necessary pieces – Since we opted not to have the sub floor – we are going with wooden folding chairs and some nice linens. It’s really not smart to do Chiavari’s on grass – no matter how much you like them. For 150 guests – $3,200.00
- Layout – This doesn’t cost any money, but is as annoying as hell to figure out. There are so many possibilities. Call me, and we can figure this out together!
- Transportation and parking – Where are 150 people going to park? Buses and/or valets are a must – $3,500.00
With my simple list, our home wedding is costing us…
$12,200.00 more (on average). If you add the flooring in, it will be more.
There are a lot of advantages to having a home wedding (history, freedom of thought and expression, freedom to hire the vendor you want – many many freedoms), but cost is not one of them. To me, home weddings are worth 3X the extra money, thought and time they take to plan. They are beautiful, and it’s a special way to share a part of “you” with your guests.
This is a small list. Don’t get me started with the repairs, the landscaping, pond dredging, bug spraying, etc.
Just some food for thought.
Happy planning!
The wedding trends are tending towards the simplification. Couples’ are downsizing and are forgoing the traditions of a “typical” wedding reception.
Conforming is “out” and uniqueness is “in”. Couples’ are saying “what I want to do is…”.
Toasting is as strong as ever, but the formal champagne toast has gone by the wayside – to the same place that the bouquet and garter toss have gone. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing. The champagne toast is one place where you can save money. Formal toasts can be as little as $2.50/guest to as much as $6.50/guest or more – for champagne that’s not fit for human consumption. If you are purchasing your own alcohol, you certainly will get more choice and a better deal – but still money that may be better used elsewhere?
When champagne is passed, the majority of guests take 1 sip and it’s left on the table. At the end of the night, I see boat loads of champagne being tossed. In the age of open bars, couples’ are opting for choice – allowing their guests to give “best wishes” with what they have in their hand – presumably, something that they enjoy drinking.
For me, If I am going to spend the money, I would rather buy someone a drink that will actually be drunk.
Happy planning!
Well, I’m having fun anyway! So many weddings – so little time – and it’s always a pleasure!
If I were to label myself, and I hate labels,
I would say that I’m more of a planner than a coordinator. Planners excel at being able to take your vision – make it into something that exceeds your expectations – and be able to pull it off with calm, ease, and skill. They know how weddings work – like the back of their hands. They do not try to fit you into their mould, but look at what you want to do – and make it work. This is the advantage to having a “professional” planner on your side.
A greatly planned wedding and great day of direction are not mutually exclusive. They feed off one another. Like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, you need each piece in place to make the perfect fit – to see the perfect picture.
I don’t care how wonderful your wedding is planned. If it’s not executed correctly – I promise you – it’s not going to seem so great. Likewise, if the planning isn’t the best, a good day of person will take your visions and “work it” so it seems like it was planned perfectly.
Like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle – baby!
Professional Wedding Day Direction is an essential piece to the puzzle. Essential. Unfortunately, many couples devalue it and only see it as luxury.
So – I have put a list together. It lists all the things we help our couple’s with when they hire us for Wedding Day Services.
Our comprehensive services include the following…
- 1-Initial consultation and 1-final details meeting 2-4 weeks prior to your wedding day
- Unlimited phone and email contact with Lisa
- Advice on all matters of wedding etiquette and procedure
- Access to a vast wedding planning resource library
- Unlimited vendor referrals
- General engagement checklist
- Walk through of your reception site with your caterer, floral designer, photographer, etc
- Personal timeline development and disbursement to family, wedding party members and vendors
- Final confirmations the week of the wedding
- Rehearsal coverage
- Unlimited wedding day coverage
- A knowledgeable and professional assistant on your wedding day.
- Be available for any planning, rental coordination, alcohol planning needs that you may have.
After you hire us, I will complete the following tasks:
- Contact your vendors to introduce myself and let them know that I am working with you to coordinate your special day.
- Ask you to “cc” me on any emails to your vendors so that I know what you want for your special day.
- Stay in contact to make sure everything is happening smoothly and to your satisfaction.
- Maintain an open line of communication so you can contact me at any time with problems or concerns.
- Make a preliminary walk through of your site (if I haven’t previously worked at your venue).
- Attend a walk-through of your reception site, with your caterer, photographer, floral designer, etc.
- Help you to facilitate positive communication between you and your vendors.
- Offer vendor referrals (if necessary).
- Contact vendors again, and work with you to put together a custom detailed wedding day timeline, which will be distributed the week of your wedding.
- Final confirmations with all vendors the week of your wedding.
- Wedding rehearsal coordination
We will complete the following tasks on the day of the wedding.
- Call all hair and make-up providers to ensure they have the correct room number on the morning of the wedding (unless we know the room number the night prior).
- Pick-up lunch for the Bride, Groom and their wedding party members and deliver it to the hotel or location of preparation (if applicable) – or call for delivery.
- Create a calm environment for the Bride, Groom, Wedding Party and Family.
- Complete all general set up (place cards, gift box, favors, table numbers, menu cards, pictures, guest book, unity candle, etc) per Bride and Groom’s requests.
- Be available for tent set up or rental deliveries (if applicable)
- Answer questions and field emergencies.
- Prepare processional – by lining up wedding party.
- Cue musicians for processional
- Cue wedding party as when to walk
- Ensure that everything is happening smoothly and per the timeline.
- Make sure that the Bride and Groom has refreshments (food and beverage) during the cocktail hour – while they are taking pictures.
- Make sure the Bride’s dress is properly bustled.
- Line family and wedding party for announcements (if applicable)
- Ensure that Bride and Groom and immediate family have drinks throughout dinner (so they do not have to get up – or ask).
- Ensure reception activities happen according to schedule.
- Cue caterers, photographer, musicians videographer and other service providers prior to special events (or entrance of the guests) – to make sure everyone is ready and everything is set.
- Work with the catering captain to ensure a smooth event.
- Distribute final payments (in the form of checks’) to vendors.
- Gather all wedding materials (guest book, pictures, client owned votives, vases, flowers, bathroom baskets, left over programs, menu cards, favors, etc) and load into pre-determined cars.
The number 1 question I get from the Washington DC Bride is…
You are at the lower end of the spectrum. I can pay more. You get what you pay for so why should I hire you?
My answer is…
If you are in this category – Salut! I think many Brides would love to say that they could pay more. My prices speak more to the demographics of the couples’ that I work with, than the level of service I provide. I love working with Washington DC couples. I also enjoy working with couples in Baltimore and Frederick. And couples in Richmond, Northern Virginia, and Minneapolis. And New England, Kansas City, the islands, etc. I have always found pricing to be difficult. I want the opportunity to work with a wide variety of couples – it’s just the way I am. Variety is the spice of life! What it comes down to – I am low in some places and high in others.
What is consistent is the high level of expertise I bring to everyone.
Based on my level of experience, training and talent – should my prices increase?
Yes. They probably should, can and will increase. But, our clients are the first in my mind. I want to be able to provide professional and excellent services to all of our present and future clients.
Happy planning!
You will find quickly that you
r tents will be yours, your guests, and your caterers best friends. Since your tents ultimately become an integral part of your venue, and thus a very important component, it’s important that you hire a reputable and reliable company. Don’t skimp on this part – simply because, the tent is so important to the success of your event.
What makes a great tent company great – and worth the extra $$$$?
1. Customer service – they will come out to your house to speak to you about all the options, to measure, and give advice.
2. They will provide drawings.
3. They will attend the final walk-through to confirm all the last minute details.
4. They will be able to ca
terer to all of your rentals and flooring needs.
5. They will ensure a knowledgeable person on site not only during set up – but during the length of your event – in the event that something comes up.
All these points are very important and should be considered when you are planning your home wedding.
Home tip – Don’t spring for Chiavari chairs if you are not springing for the subfloor.
Happy planning!
When registering and choosing patters for tableware, a bride needs to know basic terminology of classification in each group – dinnerware, stemware and flatware.
Dinnerware Glossary
Earthenware – Made from less refined clays than china, it is a low fired which causes it to remain relatively soft and porous. Because of this, it is less durable than china or porcelain, but more cost effective due to it’s rapid manufacturing. Brightly colored dinnerware often fall into this category, such as Fiestaware. Don’t let it’s durable appearance fool you, Earthenware is much less durable than china and bone china.
Stoneware – Bridges the gap between earthenware and china. Like china, it is fired at high temperatures so that it is hard, smooth and non-porous. However, it is made of course, sandy clays s which burn to a dark color. It has an earthy appearance often decorated with bright decals. It does lack the delicacy of fine china.
China – A ceramic made of white clay and pulverized stone, fired at a high temperature. It is thin, translucent, resistant to chipping and/or breaking. It will ring when tapped.
Bone China – In addition to china clays, this ceramic product contains a percentage of bone ash, giving it a characteristic whiteness. Neither china or bone china will absorb grease or water when the glaze is chipped.
Porcelain – A fine, hard translucent material made from kaolin, quartz and feldspar and fired at high temperature. It is translucent and hard. Like china, porcelain will not absorb grease or water and is just as durable.
Stemware glossary
Glass – Essentially a mixture of sand, potash and lime or lead oxide which is then melted under high temperatures along with other ingredients to give it specific qualities of color, strength and refraction. Once melted, the molten glass is either molded or blown.
Crystal – To qualify as crystal, lead oxide is added to the potash and soda.
Lead Crystal – Glass that contains at least 24%-32% lead oxide. The lead imports brilliance and is responsible for the bell-like tone that is produced when the piece is struck.
Flatware glossary
Sterling – The queen of flatware, made of 925 parts of pure silver and 75 parts of an alloy. The advantages to sterling are the following;
-it is the most hygienic metal known to man
- It does not give off substances that affect the taste of food
- it is hard and very wear resistant
- Sterling is a precious metal and lasts almost forever
- It becomes heritage for future generations, therefore a wise investment
- If used frequently, it will not tarnish. It’s easy to wash .
Silverplate – Made from a base metal and electroplated with pure silver.
Stainless – Made from a steel allow with chromium so as to inhibit corrosion and rust. The best quality stainless is marked “18/8” the ratio of chromium and nickel used to make stainless. This is the most price “sensitive option” due to it’s easy manufacturing. It also comes in a variety of patterns.
I hope this helps you to make some registry decisions!
Happy planning!
This blog is not about whether a band or a DJ is better. When it comes to this topic, there is not one that’s better than the other. It’s about making the best choice for you, your wedding and your guests.
The entertainment portion is extremely important to the success of your event. If your reception is one where music and dancing are central, you will find that this will be the most important decision that you will make. It is clearly apparent when your guests are not being entertained because it becomes awkward if your band or DJ cannot get people on the dance floor. You will soon see that your guests become bored and begin leaving – en mass. Not good. So, I want to address some of the items you need to think about when you are debating between hiring a band or a DJ.
1. You need to think about you and your fiancé’s musical tastes. Are both you and your fiancé similar? Do you like one musical genre over the other, or do you like music from all across the board? Do you like hearing the music in its pure form (from the artist)? If you enjoy the music and are inspired to dance, your guests will follow suit – even if it’s not exactly their taste. It’s amazing how your guests will follow your lead. If you are not on the dance floor, it’s more difficult to motivate them to dance. If you are not motivated y the music, you will not dance.
2. What are the ages of your guests (average) or is your crowd mixed? If they are older, perhaps music from an older era would work better than the new stuff. Younger people might enjoy 90’s music, while an older crowed might not have as much appreciation. Depending upon your crowd, 80’s music might work for everyone.
3. Ethnicity – is our crowed mixed or largely one ethnic group over another? For instance, at a Korean wedding, one might have a higher percentage of Korean guests. Therefore, you might need someone who knows Korean music and is familiar with Korean customs.
4. What is your budget? Do you have an entertainment budget of $1,500.00 or $6,000.00+?
Bands are significantly more expensive than DJ’s. It’s just not the outright fee. It’s more expensive to feed 7 people than it is to feed 1 or 2. Band contracts often require that beer/alcohol be available to band members, which is unheard of for a DJ (make sure you read those contracts closely). In the Washington DC and New England areas, you should expect to pay at least $5,000.00 for a good 5-6 person band. Expect the cost goes up as you add pieces and artist. Additionally, the popularity of the band contributes to the price.
Bands are also less versatile than DJ’s. You have to find the band that best fits you and your guests. They come with playlists, and you must choose songs off the playlist. If you have a special song that’s not on the list, be prepared to pay the band (above and beyond their fee) to learn it. If you want an obscure version of a song played, you might have a hard time. Bands can always play CD’s, and do during their breaks between sets.
Bands have finite time for playing. If you are extending – be prepared for pricey extension fees.
With that said, there is something totally cool about live music. A band really puts people in the partying mood. I have never had an unsuccessful reception when there was a great band. A band lights up the room.
DJ’s are wonderful too. I love a great DJ who knows how to read a crowd! With a DJ, your possibilities are only limited by your imagination – and iTunes. If you have a special song, it can be downloaded. Not to worry about obscure versions of your first dance song. A good DJ will know how to find it!
With a DJ, you can also go across the board with music. You can play a little rap, a little light rock, R&B, and big band – whatever. You are not limited to defined playlists.
DJ’s are less expensive. In this area, a good DJ ranges in price $1,200.00-$2,000.00 – and this is only a fraction of the cost of a band. I would advise you to hire a knowledgeable wedding DJ. Weddings are unique events that require special talent and skill.
DJ’s are not live – and although a good DJ will keep the crowed going, it’s not the same as having a live band. Often times, for my clients who opt for DJ’s but still want live music, I suggest hiring a pianist, chamber players, guitarist, harpist, etc for the ceremony and cocktail hour. This way, you get the best of both worlds and the live ceremony and cocktail hour music is a unique touch.
In my humble opinion, and your pocket book can swing it, the best of all is to have both. The band plays and the DJ plays during the band breaks and after the band ends (if you are extending late into the evening). They work together beautifully!
Happy planning!
The receiving line is a lovely tradition. It gives the couple, their parents and wedding party the opportunity to great all guests. In a large wedding, this may be the only opportunity for guests to offer their congratulations to the newlyweds. The receiving line traditionally takes place at the reception, but can also take place at in the Church vestibule or on the stairs right outside – time permitting. A church is the ideal location to hold your receiving line, if all guests are not invited to the reception. Participants of the receiving line are as follows:
Who you include in your receiving line is up to you. I often sugges
t that you eliminate wedding party members (Bridesmaids and Maid/Matron of Honor) to save time – which may be a limiting factor. It’s totally acceptable not to include Fathers, and instead they can circulate amongst the crowed. If Mothers are remarried, Stepfathers can be included if you wish.
Just as some line tips.
1. As stated above, only include the essential members – so that your guests do not face a long and tedious wait.
2. Serve refreshments to your guests while they wait.
3. Conversation should be brief but pleasant.
4. The Bride (and Bridesmaids if included) should keep the bou
quet in their left hands, or place it to the side while in the line.
5. Any accessories worn during the ceremony should be worn in the receiving line (hats, gloves, etc).
6. The Bride can kiss those guests which she knows well; otherwise a handshake is appropriate.
Some couples elect to eliminate the receiving line, instead, circulatin
g with their guests throughout the reception. If you choose to eliminate the receiving line, you have the responsibility of greeting each and every guest at the reception.
As an alternative to the receiving line at the Church, the Bride and
Groom can re-enter after the processional to greet guests as they exit the church – which eliminates awkwardness if the parents are divorced or do not wish to participate in a formal receiving line.
Regardless of your plans, it’s imperative that you make sure to introduce your new husband in the proper manner. There is a simple rule of thumb: When making an introduction, present the lower
“ranking” person to the higher “ranking” person. Here is how to determine status:
- An older person outranks a younger person
- Someone senior or more important at work outranks someone less senior/less important at work
- An out of town guest outranks a local guest of equal status
- A person serving religious ministry outranks a lay person
So, when you are introducing your new hubby to your aunt (who is 20 years older), you would say “Auntie Charlie, may I present my husband, Bryant Nelson. Bryant, this is my Aunt, Miss Charlene Powell.
This indicates that your new husband would call your Aunt “Miss Powell”, until it is indicated that he can call her by a more informal name. It’s a good rule of thumb to use the formal name of a senior person.
Happy planning!
